Hanna Renaldi's Blog: What Not to Do in a Personal Statement

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Stop! Don’t make these mistakes!

The personal statement is the only place in the AMCAS, ACCOMAS and TMDSAS primary applications where you get to present yourself directly to the admissions committee. Here, you can persuade them to give you an interview or unknowingly reveal red flags that undermine your entire application. Since it plays such a powerful role in how you are viewed as an applicant, you’ll want to spend a significant amount of time on preparing it.

With a decade of experience in medical schools admissions, I would like to share with you some of the most unsuccessful approaches that you must avoid:

1. Using this space as a tell-all

Many students will reveal medical conditions or those of family members in their personal statements. The essay sometimes reads as a medical history. Taking this approach can hurt your application for several reasons. It may alert them to conditions that could impact your ability to perform in medical school, indicate that you lack boundaries by over sharing, or suggest a lack of maturity in focusing only on yourself and family—rather than helping others or serving the community.

2. Throwing a pity party

Anything you share in your personal statement can be brought up in your interview. If you share details of painful events, losses or failures that you have not yet processed or come to terms with, you may not have had time to decide how these experiences will impact you. It could come across as an invitation for the reader to pity you. Accepting long term changes in our lives transform us. We are constantly evolving through our experiences. Until you have integrated this information into your identity, depending on how important it was, you may not be able to use the experience to shed insight on yourself quite yet. Use negative experiences that are at least a year or older depending on how long it takes you to process and reflect. Most importantly, use them to show growth and resilience, not to create pity.

3. Demonstrating a lack of compassion or empathy

One of the creepiest essays I’ve ever read—it still sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it—was a student’s description of how much she enjoyed anesthetizing and removing the brains of mice. Her intention was to share her love of science, research and learning but the feverish glee with which she described these procedures lacked compassion for the creatures that lost their lives for her research project. This lack of respect for the sacredness of life made it an easy decision to reject her application. Research was probably a better path for her, especially since she wasn’t able to gauge the reaction her statements would have on her audience.

4. Bargaining

The least fun essays to read are those that contain more promises than a politician’s speech. They include statements like, “If accepted into this program, I will…..” The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you really want to demonstrate what you are capable of achieving during your medical education, give examples of what you have already accomplished. This approach is far stronger than making desperate promises.

5. Complaining

Criticizing or pointing out the failures of healthcare professionals who have treated you or whom you have observed in the past will only reflect negatively on you. Since your application will be reviewed by doctors, as well as admissions professionals, it’s critical that you do not insult those from whom you are seeking acceptance. While it is true that medical mistakes and lack of access to care have devastating consequences for patients, their families and communities, identifying ways to improve in these areas without pointing any fingers would be more effective. By demonstrating your realistic knowledge of patient needs and sharing potential solutions, you can present yourself as an asset to their team.

There are more examples of bad personal statements than successful ones. Be careful what you read. To write a personal statement that is honest (not bitter), reveals your personality (not your medical history) and delivers a compelling explanation for your motivations for entering medicine (not empty promises) will serve you best. For more individualized guidance, you are welcome to contact me or one of my colleagues at Accepted.

Alicia McNease Nimonkar is an Accepted advisor and editor specializing in healthcare admissions. Prior to joining Accepted, Alicia worked for five years as Student Advisor at UC Davis’ postbac program where she both evaluated applications and advised students applying successfully to med school and related programs.